 Tomorrow I am 30 weeks pregnant! I can’t believe that in 8-12 weeks I’ll have my sweet baby boy in my arms! However,I can tell this is not my first child. I have yet to do anything besides get some newborn clothes out (not sorted,washed or hung) for this baby. I keep thinking that I have time,but I told my husband that I should start thinking about it soon. 
My first birth of my son was beautiful with no special circumstances,but it was not the birth I desired. My doctor pushed almost every intervention possible for no reason. Since we didn’t really have a plan or know what we were doing we just went along with the doctor. This time I started researching natural childbirth,and I stumbled upon HypnoBirthing (which I have actually gotten licensed to teach classes in sense attending our class). Briefly,HypnoBirthing uses self-hypnosis to put the mom into a deep state of relaxation so that her body can do what it is naturally meant to do. After all,women in comas birth babies. We have learned that birth is natural,and if we allow our bodies to lead by not getting tense then our bodies will do what they are designed to do… just like every other muscle in our body. HypnoBirthing does not view birth as a spectator event but rather a special,intimate moment between the parents and child. They encourage families to embrace this special moment to bond as a family and with their new child. We love all the research and emphasis HypnoBirthing has on bonding with your newborn. Throughout our study through the HypnoBirthing material my husband and I started discussing our birth preferences,and we have decided that a home birth is the best option for us. We don’t think it’s for everyone,but it is where we think we will feel the most comfortable. We know that even if we end up getting the birth we have planned at a hospital we will have to constantly be defending our decisions at least to our doctor. Our doctor is an OB-GYN,and he pushes interventions without thinking about it as that is how he was trained. This is not a bad thing,and we are thankful to have these trained doctors close by in the case of an emergency. However,we have a very low-risk pregnancy and the chances of us needing a specialist is slim to none. In the UK you are not even allowed to go to an OB-GYN when you are expecting. They only show up in the picture when there is a reason for surgery or for high-risk patients. After all,we don’t go to a surgeon whenever we have something minor like a cold. We do live very close to a hospital,and we have found a great midwife who is very experienced. It makes me laugh to see how far we have come. I never thought we would go from desiring a natural birth to having a home birth,but here we are. We’re very excited about meeting our newest little blessing in the comfort of our own home. Side note:I think the little man knows I’m writing about him,because the entire time I’ve written this he has been having a little party in my belly.  First of all… I’m back! My blog was down for a couple of weeks,and we were finally able to figure out what was wrong and fix it (or should I say my husband fixed it  ).
My husband and I recently watched “Children are a Blessing” from Moore Family Films and really enjoyed it. As we have already been convicted on allowing God to have control in all areas of our lives (including children) it didn’t change much of that opinion,but it was really encouraging to watch! Through the rest of April you can watch Children are a Blessing for free online! The Moore family shares their testimony in how they have chosen to fully allow God to have control of this area of their life. I specifically liked this quote in the movie… “We live in a day when most people,Christians included,eagerly apply for what God calls a curse –debt –but never give a second thought to preventing or even destroying what God calls a blessing –children. If we are to live our lives according to the Word of God,we must ask ourselves,‘What saith the Scripture?’” As we have changed our way of thinking about this subject over the last couple years,we have studied more families that have chosen to live this way. We have noticed one common trend that is encouraging to us. Even though most of the large families we know are by no means considered wealthy God has always provided. Do we have such little faith that we don’t think God will provide our needs for every blessing he gives our family? We have chosen to take this leap of faith as God promises to provide our needs. “And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:19. We have seen God’s provision in our own lives. We chose to adopt our daughter at a time when my husband was out of work and it would take all of our savings to pay for the adoption. Then,we found out we were expecting our third child a week after my husband opened our new business. While we are struggling greatly,we have also been blessed greatly. God has provided even when the numbers just don’t add up,and we know that he will continue to provide our needs. It might mean that we won’t have the “ideal” life or situation,but I’m confident that we won’t be homeless and won’t starve. It saddens me when I see so many Christians get a vasectomy and tubal ligation. They permanently stop their fertility,and I’m guessing most of them make this decision without thinking twice or praying to God if this is what He wants them to do. I don’t want to debate with anyone who has made this decision;I just pray they sought God’s will and not their own. I recently read of couple who made the decision to trust God with their family size before they got married. They were thrilled when they found out that they were expecting their first child. Their firstborn ended up being born by an emergency c-section. The doctors advised that they needed to wait two years before trying to conceive again. They prayed about this decision,and they felt like God was telling them to trust Him. They decided to trust God,not the doctors,and prayed that God would allow them to get pregnant when her body was healed and she was able to carry a baby to term. They found out they were expecting their second child six months later. She carried the baby to term and had a wonderful home birth experience. God is faithful! If you have time I encourage you to watch the film Children are a Blessing,and I encourage to seek God’s will in all areas of your life (including being open to the blessing of children).  My husband and I were talking about the last year,and I realized how varied our emotions have been. I’m fortunate enough to have never lost a family member that is very close. I can only imagine how hard that is,and I have heard from others that there are different stages you go through when you are going through grief. Well,I also think that there are stages you are going through when you are going through a trial that is drawn out over days,months and going on over a year for us.
We have been struggling financially over the last year and a half,and it has only gotten worse the last couple months (and completely unknown about the future). When we first started struggling financially it wasn’t as serious. We still had money to pay for the basics,but we did have to draw from savings every month. Then,we dropped everything we could that wasn’t a necessity. Now,we are struggling month to month to pay for our house,food and utilities. We are facing the decision of where we will go if we lose our house. These are BIG decisions! When my husband first lost his job last December we were upset for the first couple days,but then we almost got on a high. We had faith,and we just knew it would only be a few months at the most before Michael would find a job. I would say this “high”last about two months. Then there was lots a waiting and not results. This went on and on. He tried to do sales for a company while still looking for other jobs,but nothing worked. We started noticing that faith was sinking down,and there were several nights we felt helpless and cried out to God to bring SOMETHING for Michael to do!!! I would say these months were the lowest points in our walk with God,our faith and our marriage. We thought of the idea of opening an ice cream shop when we first moved to our town three years ago,but were never willing to take the risk. Michael started spending time working on a business plan for Java Cone last May,and the idea slowly came to life. He met with several different advisors with the SBA and our city. He had his plan reviewed and revised. We decided to go for it and open Java Cone. We figured at this point we didn’t have much to lose. He wasn’t leaving a job to open Java Cone,and so we decided to dive in and take the risk. This was such an exciting time to have hope and dreams about something specific again! Around this time we realized how little faith we had been having in God over the past several months,and how we needed to leave it all in God’s hands (regardless of the outcome). This was usually a daily reminder,but once we stopped trying to do it all with our own power we felt so relieved. Then,we opened the store. For a new business we are doing well,however we didn’t have a lot of capital when we opened it so we are struggling month to month to pay for payroll,rent,food,taxes and so on. Java Cone has not brought home a single penny yet,and we know that this can’t go on for too much longer. On top of everything financially we adopted our daughter last August,and we are expecting our newest little blessing in July. I’m so thankful for these wonderful blessings that God has entrusted us with! They are my pride and joy! We have had the very serious discussions (such as where are we going to live if we lose our house and have no money to rent something else),but our faith grown so much over the last year that I can honestly say I’m not worried. I know that this struggle is temporary and won’t last for years and year. I know that our families will never let us be homeless,and I know that God will provide our basic needs (we just don’t quite know exactly how he’s going to do that). We also try so hard to not live focused on the very real problems. When we are together as a family we try to live in the moment. We laugh,play,go to the park,read books,chase our kids around the house and smile a lot. Even though our faith has more than doubled the last year,we have noticed that we have slowly distanced ourselves from our friends/church. This was not intentional,and it really bothered me when I realized it. I discussed this with Michael,and I think we’ve figured it out. We simply don’t relate to others and others don’t relate to us. When you are going through a struggle people don’t really know what to say so they don’t say anything at all. I completely understand where they are coming from,because I have done the same thing to others in the past. Another reason for this distance is that doing any activity that requires money is simply not an option. Period. We don’t go out to eat,unless others give us money to use for going out to eat or pay for us. This is always such a treat! Also,it’s really hard to hear people talk about struggling to pay for items that are clearly not a need when we’re struggling to pay our electric bill. Yes,we have other things in common,but it’s hard to have interest in much else when you’re struggling to provide your basic needs. I remember learning about Maslow’s ladder of needs in school. Basically,this theory states that one can’t process a lot of information about life,desires,goals,God,friends,extra-curricular activities and so on when their basic needs aren’t met. Time will tell what our future holds and when this trial will end,but in the meantime I will continue to have faith in God,smile and laugh,love on my husband,spend quality time with my children,spend quiet time with God and pray A LOT. We have learned so much through this hardest trial of our lives,and I know we will look back on this time someday and thank God for the lessons we have learned during this very difficult time. “Consider it pure joy,my brothers,whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete,not lacking anything.”–James 1:2-4 Wow,it has been a while since I last posted. I have started working on a new writing project in an attempt to make some money for my family. It is a big project,and I am using most of my free-time to work on it. I have decided that I am going to take a little blogging break. I’m going to try to still post once a week,but not much more than that. Thank you for your understanding!  It’s easy for me to feel bad for ourselves. It’s tempting to focus on the very prevalent struggles in our life instead of the many blessings. Why is it so hard to see our blessings in the midst of trials?
As I’ve said before,my husband and I are going through the toughest struggle we have gone through our entire lives (for both of us). It’s so hard to dwell on our blessings and have faith when I’m worried about if we’ll be able to make our house payment next month. Anyways,you get the point. Well,the past week I have heard so many stories on the internet and radio that have put me in my place. I’ve heard sad stories regarding the storms that have occurred and the lives that have been lost. I’ve read stories of children who are chronically ill and other sad situations. When I put things into perspective I realize how truly blessed we are. I remembered something I heard someone say once that no matter where you are or what struggle you are going through someone else would want to be in your shoes over theirs. I can’t put into words what my husband and children mean to me. I feel so blessed to be going through these trials with a companion. Having my husband who truly understands the emotions I feel (and vise versa) has helped carry me through. Life is always greener on the other side,and when we have pity on ourselves it doesn’t make it any easier. I needed some perspective this week,and I’m thankful I got it.  First,since my last baby diary post we found out that we are having a BOY!! We’re really excited about the new little man growing in our belly! I just had my official sonogram two days ago,and everything looks great! He was measuring an average of 8 days ahead,so maybe he’ll come early and be a June baby. They didn’t change my due date,and I’m very happy about that. I don’t want to be disappointed if he doesn’t come early,and I don’t want to be pressured to be induced.
I have been feeling very strong movements in my belly,and my husband got to feel him kick for the first time the same day as our sonogram. I’m getting very excited to meet this new little man!! I’m going to try to have a natural,no intervention drug-free birth. My husband and I are starting to take HypnoBirthing classes this weekend,and I’m so excited about this method of natural childbirth! I’ve read a lot about it,and I’m anxious to learn more. In my search for natural childbirth I read about two herbal teas to drink during your pregnancy. The first is called Pregnancy Tea. This tea has several different herbs that are healthy for you during pregnancy. I have not tried this tea yet. I’ve heard from others that it is a stronger tasting tea. Then,another recommended tea was Raspberry Leaf Tea. This tea supports the female system. Women drink this tea for two different reasons. First,it can help with irregular menstruation and menstrual cramps. I found out about this tea after I was pregnant,but I’m excited to try this tea after I get back to having cycles again. The second thing this tea does is help tone your uterus for less painful contractions and a more comfortable birth. Since we’re aiming for natural childbirth this time I was excited to hear about this! I read about a mom that has used this tea with her last several babies and she has noticed a difference. She just had her 8th child,so I think she’s qualified to say that. Most midwives suggest that you drink 1 cup per day during the 1st trimester,2 cups per day during the 2nd trimester and 3 cups per day during the 3rd trimester. Since this tea helps tone your uterus many women experience contractions (not real ones) when they drink this tea,especially during the 3rd trimester. If I have 3 cups in a day I feel contractions when I drink it,but not when I only have two. I love feeling this because it obviously means it is doing something. This tea is not used to induce labor,so you don’t have to worry about going into pre-term labor when you drink the tea. I use Traditional Medicinals Organic Raspberry Leaf Tea. It is not a strong tea,and it does not taste a lot like tea. I don’t like tea,but I don’t mind this tea at all. I usually put a little bit of sugar (about 1 tsp) in each cup. You can buy this tea at any health food store or stores that have health food aisles. However,it is a lot more expensive in the stores. I found it for less than half off the store prices on Ebay. Have you ever used this tea or know anyone that has? 
When I saw this recipe on Pinterest I just had to make it! I had all of the ingredients on hand,and the candy corn probably would have gone bad before we had the chance to eat it. I couldn’t believe that there are only three ingredients in this entire recipe,and I couldn’t believe that candy corn was one of them! This is one of the best knock-off recipes I’ve ever tried. They really taste like Butterfingers! They are even crunchy. I’ve never melted candy corn before,but after candy corn is melted and then hardened again it gets crunchy. You would never guess candy corn is even in this recipe! I had several people try these and no one was able to guess that candy corn was an ingredient. I hope you enjoy this recipe as much as we have! Ingredients: - 1 lb candy corn
- 16 oz peanut butter
- 16 oz chocolate candy coating
Directions: Melt candy corn in microwave in 30 second intervals. Once melted stir in peanut butter. Spread into an 8×8 pound and let cool for a few hours (to quicken the process put it in the fridge/freezer). Cut into small squares and dip into melted chocolate and place on wax paper to cool.  I recently shared that we have decided to keep our children with us through church service. This is a decision we discussed for a long time,and it is what we feel is best for our family.
Since we made this change we have received quite a few strange looks from members of our congregation. We expected this as it is not the norm for our church,and we used to keep our children in the nursery. Last week a lady came up to me and said she’s been observing us in church the last few weeks. She said she was very impressed with how our children behaved and told me we were doing a good job. This was a HUGE compliment to me. When we started this we had a 17-month old and a 19-month old. If you have children you know this is a hard age for them to sit still and be quiet. We knew that this was not going to be easy to do,but we were ready to jump in with a plan! We’ve made a few changes on how we handle them,and I’ll share what has worked best for us. The first month we decided to start with training just our daughter,then when she started doing better we started bringing both of them into service. If you have multiple children this might be a good idea. When we started we had to take her out of service about 5 times for the first few weeks. Then,it seemed easier to train our son because he observed his sister sitting still and being quiet. Here is our church (or any quiet place) rules… - We allow the kids to have their comfort item (which is a little blanket for each of them). We also allow our daughter to have her binky. The only other time she gets this is when she’s sleeping.
- We have a couple cups of water if they want it,but we don’t give them any snacks.
- We allow them each to have one book and one book only. We don’t let them have any other toys or distractions. We only give them the book if they start to get restless. We’re trying to teach them that it is OK to just sit still and be quiet without being entertained. We are usually able to get through half of the service before giving them their books. We only allow one item because we don’t want them to keep seeking for entertainment. They now know that it is all they get.
- If they start talking or getting fussy we cover their mouths and say “shhh.” If they continue on being disruptive we take them out of service. We take away their comfort item and book and make them sit on our laps until they calm down. They have quickly learned that it’s more fun to be quiet and have these items in church than to have nothing and still not get to play.
- Right now we each hold one of them in our laps. Sometimes they like to cuddle,and we soak that in! Our next step is getting them to sit beside us on the bench. We will not let them get up and down or change positions as its distracting. We’re thinking maybe we’ll start working on this in a couple of months.
I’m not sharing what we do to make you think it’s the only way if you are considering this. I just thought I would give you some thoughts on what has worked for us. The last 4 weeks we have not had to leave service even once. They are doing so great,and we are really proud of them! Since they have handled this better I’ve been able to focus more on the actual service again. Also,our kids enjoy this time. They recognize church now,and they really enjoy worship. They never start to cry or fuss when we go into the sanctuary because they don’t want to be there. We’ve also noticed our children doing better on trips and traveling. The last few trips we’ve made they travel for 3 hours or more without any kind of entertainment besides talking and looking out the window. Have you worked on training toddlers to sit still for a long period of time? What tricks worked for you?  Today is sort of bittersweet for me. It is the first Valentine’s Day that I will not get to see my husband since we have been together (He has to work at our restaurant). Even though I don’t get to see him today I still feel very loved and special.
I feel so blessed to have married someone like him. No,he’s not perfect,but he is the perfect guy for me. In June we will be celebrating 5 years of marriage! While not perfect,we are blessed to have had a great marriage so far. These are a few things I admire about my husband… - He loves me a lot and would do anything for me. He gives me hugs and makes me feel special. I never doubt his love and commitment to me.
- He is an amazing father to our two kids (and the one on the way). He loves spending time with them,playing with them,being involved with decisions regarding them,etc. I have never had to ask him to be more involved in our children’s lives or to be a better father,and I am so thankful for that!
- I love how we share the same beliefs in almost every area in life. This has made our lives much easier. We don’t argue about how we’re going to raise our kids,how many kids we’ll have,politics,howe we’re going to spend our money,views on religion,and so on.
- My husband is a hard worker. He always has to be doing something and keeping busy. He is great at getting projects done because once he starts on a project he won’t stop until it’s done.
- He’s very organized and a perfectionist. You would not believe how much he can fit into a tiny trunk. It’s amazing! If he starts a project I don’t ever have to doubt the quality. I love it when he get’s in the mood to organize stuff (like our storage room)!
- He is my best friend,and I can talk to him about anything.
- He loves God and truly desires for him and our family to be in God’s will. I couldn’t ask for anything better than this.
We are going through the toughest time either of us has ever gone through. We’re struggling financially as the store has not brought him a salary yet. We have no idea how we’re going to have enough money for the bills month to month,but we have not lost faith in God or each other. We know that we are living in God’s will,and regardless of the outcome with our restaurant we know everything will be OK. I’m thankful that I don’t have a strained marriage relationship on top of everything else that is going on in our lives. I don’t know how I could cope right now if I wasn’t secure in my relationship with my husband and God. Gifts or going out on a date are out the picture due to finances this year,but that’s OK. So,even though I won’t get to see my hubby today on Valentines Day I feel loved and special. I’ve struggled a lot the past year with easily being offended by others and their actions. It is something I have been working on,and I finally feel like I have overcome this. I have noticed myself not being offended anymore from events/actions/words that would have offended me in the past. I have a feeling that I am not the only one who has struggled with this,and I think women tend to struggle with it more than men. As I thought about what I was taking offense to I realized that it was me being selfish and others were not meaning to offend me. The last year my husband has been without a job for the most part. It’s been a struggle,and it has definitely been hard of him. Throughout the past year several people have contacted him,wrote him kind letters that they are praying for him,etc. and it hurt me. Why would this hurt me? It hurt because I felt forgotten. I felt like I should not struggle with my emotions like I was,I should always be the strong positive one,I should support him and I should pray for him. I did my best to do all of these things,but I felt like no one cared about how I felt or the emotions I was experiencing as the wife/mom in the situation. I heard comments over and over again like “How is Michael doing? I’ve been thinking about him a lot.”too many times to count. When my husband received kind letters I couldn’t even read them because all I could think about was how no one cared about ME. Noticed how much I focused on ME in the above paragraph. I have always had God and a loving husband with a willing ear,which is more than many people have. I started thinking about why this was affecting me so much,and I decided that I need to make a choice to change. No one else needed to change. As I think about everyone that has supported my husband it is overwhelming,and if I was in their shoes I would have asked about the husband too not the wife. I know all of the letters,emails and calls were loving people who sincerely cared for our family. I know no one intentionally thought I should be able to handle it all without support. When I actually thought about it that way my heart started to change. Then,I heard a sermon a while ago where a lady discussed women being easily offended,and how we need to work on it. She said,“99% of the time people do not say or do things to intentionally hurt us. Most of the time words are just words and actions are just actions,we are the ones that chose to take offense to those words and actions.” I’ve never heard it said so plainly and simply,but the more I’ve thought about it I’ve realized how true that statement is! I know I’ve offended people who I had no intention of offending. It’s easy to think how that person is intentionally doing something to hurt you,but when you ponder on it you realize that they probably are just not thinking about how what they say/do could hurt you. I think the first step to not being easily offended is to change your way of thinking. Don’t dwell of what others have done to you instead… Philippians 4:8,“Finally,brethren,whatsoever things are true,whatsoever things are honest,whatsoever things are just,whatsoever things are pure,whatsoever things are lovely,whatsoever things are of good report;if there be any virtue,and if there be any praise,think on these things.” I challenge you to think about anyone or anything that easily offends you and try to change your way of thinking. Think about what is pure,and not what is evil. I believe the devil tempts us to be offended. Since I have changed my way of thinking I have experienced more joy in my heart. Remember,taking offense only hurts you. It can affect every area of your live including your intimacy with God and your husband. When I am tempted to feel offended I pray that God will take those feelings away from my heart. I think about how the person was not intentionally trying to hurt me. The more you practice this the easier it gets. 2 Corinthians 12:10,“For the sake of Christ,then,I am content with weaknesses,insults,hardships,persecutions,and calamities. For when I am weak,then I am strong.” Colossians 3 12-14,“Therefore,as God’s chosen people,holy and dearly loved,clothe yourselves with compassion,kindness,humility,gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love,which binds them all together in perfect unity.” | |
Tomorrow I am 30 weeks pregnant! I can’t believe that in 8-12 weeks I’ll have my sweet baby boy in my arms! However,I can tell this is not my first child. I have yet to do anything besides get some newborn clothes out (not sorted,washed or hung) for this baby. I keep thinking that I have time,but I told my husband that I should start thinking about it soon. 
